From a Young G’s perspective

QUANTIC Y CONJUNTO | “dre en cumbia”

You know, and I know
I flow some old funky shit

You know I had to right?! I will always remember to not forget this. Currently drowning in nostalgia in the middle of London’s cold, cruel and callous climate. I call it cruel and callous because it has made people so grumpy. The vibe here is dormant, so I’ll continue to remember and drown in my dreams.

LEON HAYWOOD | “i wanta do something freaky to you”

My hometown, Tottenham

 

“the human voice is the organ of the soul.” –

                     HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW

I feel like I have to have a voice. But I feel like we all do. We are the youth. Not just I & not just you. Now what would Bernie Grant do? Always and in all ways give credit where it is due.

I’ve been back almost 2 weeks, and I don’t know if things are changing or simply going backwards. I really couldn’t say. I’m happy I stumbled across this video about my hometown by a brother from my hometown. It shows me that someone cares. Thanks to Gatez for showing me this 🙂

Peace to Jahlani for this, x

That horny guy on a Monday morning

OVERDOZ. | “monday morning”

So I’m back in London. It’s been over a week, and things have started to sink in. Everything. Everything is everywhere and I feel like I don’t have any control. I’ve been California dreaming for a while and so decided to scan some pictures I took on my Minolta last year when I moved there for some time, wow that sounds so long ago!  I was happily scanning pictures I developed back in LA, and then I glanced at the clock, it’s 3:30AM. It’s Monday morning again! My mum is going to wake me up in 3 hours to put a french braid in her hair, I know right?! I’ve got to unpack my stuff and give clothes to charity, and then go to uni for one bloodclart lecture. I hope Monday gives me clarity and strength, Lord knows I need it…

 

So I posted this picture because it makes me chortle. This is the horny man. As you can see, he has stuck horns on his forehead. I took this on Venice Beach on labor day weekend of last year. To many people, this guy may seem weird or strange but I think he’s super special. I remember talking to him briefly and he revealed his age, which surprised me because I think he looked good for his age. He approached all people who’s eyesight crossed his. My friends thought he was weird but I didn’t. He made me laugh so hard. I look at this picture and it reminds me just how special he is. Whenever I see this picture, it has the power of making me laugh with tears and I begin to reminisce over Venice Beach and how fascinating she can be. And I love Venice Beach for giving me this horny man.

 

These pictures are 4 of 400+

(((and I’m talking 400 analogue-made pictures that haven’t been scanned so)))

…bear with me

 

I’ll also start making compilations bi-monthly?! We’ll see 🙂

HAVE A CHILLED MONDAY MORNING, X

 

ANXIETY

MOS DEF | “kalifornia”

In the sky of life
In certain hotspots where these meteors and stars have a tendency to fall
And legend has it . . . that California is one of those spots
I believe that to be true…

All of a sudden, I have this feeling of worry and fear. I don’t know what to do with myself and I’m all the way here. Here, in California. I don’t miss London, I don’t miss home. My heart is beating so fast. It wants to jump out of my mouth but I can’t even find the words to block this feeling, describe it or to bring my heart back down to where it needs to be. I can’t hold anything properly because I don’t want to see it shake. I can feel my blood and it’s diluted with fear. I don’t know why I feel scared, and I haven’t eaten properly in ages. I think this is anxiety. I know this because I googled it AND it didn’t feel this way when I drove to Hollywood with my friend [pictured above], who came to visit me from London. We stood on the hills and looked over Los Angeles as the sun swaps shifts with the moon discretely, messing about with the camera, the caution sign, and the bin.

You look at Los Angeles from the top, and see she has a lot to offer. But when you are at the bottom, she can make you sad. Sad, because reality is the shadow that constantly follows you around when the sun goes down, and the street lights go up. I’m somehow in love with this place, I really am. But seeing homelessness a block away from a famous landmark really puts you into perspective. And I’m far from rich, I don’t come from an affluent area, I’m actually from an infamous place in London. But I never really see this. And yes, there are some homeless people in places like Victoria, Westminster and so forth but in my opinion, it’s not as grave as it is here. (That’s not undermining homelessness in London or as a whole.) But I guess the reason why it plays in my mind so much is because I can easily walk away, or even drive from it all. It makes me think how fucked up things can really get, and how most of what I learnt in school was all a fucking lie!

But there’s this little part in my heart that believes that one day it will get better, but the question is when?

I’ve gone off on a tangent and I suppose I’m diggin’ up stuff because I wanna save myself. I don’t know what’s going on tho. I think next week, I’ll practice the essence of silence except from in class but I rarely speak in classes anyway?! I think it is a familiar practice in Buddhism, although I’m not really sure.

If you’ve read this far, sorry for any typo’s or mistakes. I didn’t plan to write this. I hope life is treating you well and if you didn’t know . . they call me purplevagabond .

many peace, X

p.s. I’m really still feeling this anxiety thing #sigh